Stress is Everywhere
Most of us encounter stressful situations almost daily in our lives. From our jobs to our kids, stressors are literally everywhere. Our own thoughts can even cause us to experience stress.
Stress can take us away from our ability to connect with others, resulting in broken relationships. It can cause us to be more negative and unhappy – leaving less of us to reach out and help the world around us. (Remember, we have to create a positive life within before we can immerse ourselves in helping the world around us!)
Even though stress tends to get a bad reputation, it is a completely normal reaction our body has to any type of change. We are literally hard wired to experience stress in some way.
Our bodies use stress as a response to certain situations, particularly emergency or dire ones. This is built into our autonomic nervous system and leads to physiological changes that give us the ability to combat stressful situations. The stress response activates our “flight or fight” response”, causing us to become more alert, motivated, and ready to avoid danger. (1)
This is super helpful in a situation where you are getting chased by a ravenous grizzly bear, seeking a promotion at work, or trying to get a new TV on Black Friday. Your stress response is what causes you to slam on your breaks to avoid another car.
This is viewed as positive stress, and our bodies are made to handle it.
Some common symptoms of your body responding to stress are:
- Sweaty palms
- Increased heart rate
- Tense muscles
- Quickened breathing
The problem with stress does not lie in this actual response itself, but in the amount of time we are feeling stressed.
In “normal” circumstances our bodies experience a stressful situation, respond by activating our “flight or fight response”, get through the situation, and then goes through a period of relief following the stressful event. This last part is KEY!
Think about the last time you went through a stressful situation. Maybe it was a death in the family, a job interview, or a drive in rush hour traffic. Think about how this situation took a toll on your body – mentally and physically. You needed some time to recoup and recover after this situation, right?
I know that after I got in a car accident a few years ago I felt like it took days for me to feel completely “normal” again.
Unfortunately, most of us do not get the adequate amount of recovery time our bodies need after a stressful situation. Instead, we get hit with another stressor (and another and another…) soon after the initial stressful situation. Often referred to as chronic stress, this leads to prolonged activation of the stress response, and is a very serious issue.
This prolonged activation causes wear and tear on our mental and physical selves. It can lead to a condition called distress, which is characterized as a negative state in which our bodies cannot return to physical or mental equilibrium. (2)
It’s basically like getting yourself into a hole and not being able to get back out.
Distress can wreak havoc in our bodies leading to a whole list of physical symptoms like headaches, upset stomach, high blood pressure, and sleeping issues.
Do you feel very tired at night even though you got adequate sleep the night before? Or a get a stomach ache before sharing your opinion at a meeting? These could be a result of chronic stress.
Prolonged stress also affects our mental health contributing to depression and anxiety. It can alter our mind’s ability to relax and can lead to a constant feeling of being overwhelmed and worried.
Physical and mental effects of stress can lead to serious behavioral symptoms. Changes in appetite (eating too much or too little), increased use of drugs/alcohol, or lack of motivation can all result from too much stress. (3)
When I feel too stressed, I usually just want to go home and do nothing. I don’t have much motivation to complete chores or go out with friends.
Experiencing all of these symptoms leads to more and more stress. It may start with just a headache every night. The headache leads to you being short with your partner because you don’t feel well. Being short with your partner leads to fighting more often. Fighting more often causes unhappiness at home, resulting in you finding other places to go to avoid the unhappiness. Relationships can fail due to too much stress!
Chronic stress has some serious long term effects. It results in a weakened immune system, causing us to be at a higher risk for illnesses. It can also alter the actual makeup of our brain leading to various psychiatric disorders. Some other diseases that chronic stress has been potentially linked to are heart disease and cancer. (4)
Sometimes it can be hard to realize you are experiencing chronic stress because it just becomes a normal way of life. You just learn to cope with the mood swings or headaches. It is helpful to know the common signs of chronic stress so you can take actions to try and combat it before it becomes to severe.
Some warning signs of chronic stress (1):
- General aches and pains (on a consistent basis)
- Indigestion or acid reflux
- Muscle tension – especially in the neck and back
- Headaches
- Grinding teeth or clenched jaw
- Problems sleeping
- Exhaustion
- Weight gain or loss
- Change in appetite
Overcoming stress in our lives is NOT easy. It can seem downright impossible, actually. But it is possible with a little work.
There was a point during my sophomore year in college where I had constant heartburn and acid reflux. Literally every single day after every single thing I ate. It lead to stomach aches and headaches. If you would have asked me then what was causing it, I would have told you it was my diet and partying habits. While that probably did play some role in how I was feeling, I now see that it was probably due to chronic stress. I struggled with anxiety – constantly worrying about things I couldn’t control. Pair that with class deadlines and tests; it was a toxic situation.
Once I graduated college, one of my stressors was gone but I still struggled with anxiety. I realized I had to do something to take control of this constant stresser. I had to find some way to give my body a break.
I started researching how to go about doing this. I tried all sorts of things from meditation to diet changes. While all of these things worked in their own way, the realization that I had control over how I responded to the stressors in my life is what really did it for me.
I realized that I am never going to eliminate the worry or any of my other stressors from my life. I had to first figure out what these stressors were and then find ways to overcome them – or atleast handle them a bit better.
Since this epiphany, I rarely have any physical or mental symptoms of stress. My stress isn’t completely gone, though. I still have moments of feeling completely overwhelmed and anxious. Moments when I reach my breaking point because of too much stress. But I DO have a better handle on it. I recognize when these moments happen and I have a better feel for how to handle them.
Here are some things I have used to cope with my stress as well as some other ideas I thought would be good to try.
Identify the stressors in your life (THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT)
Live in the present moment (learn more about this here)
Regular exercise and movement
Practice relaxation techniques like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing (this has worked wonders for me! Look out for a future post)
Eat a healthy, well balanced diet
Accept that you can not control everything
Learn to say NO when a situation may bring more stress into your life
Get enough sleep
Seek out support from friends, family, or professionals
Learn to manage your time efficiently
Set aside time for yourself and your hobbies
Not all of these coping mechanisms are going to help everyone. We are all different and all respond to stress in dramatically different ways. But we can all benefit from trying to get a better handle on our stress. I would start out with first determining what your stressors are. Then look for ways to better handle them using some of these techniques (or others!). If you don’t feel like you can handle your stressors on your own, then look to others for help!
I do not claim to be a doctor and have far less knowledge about stress than doctors have. This article is just to better educate you and offer up some suggestions in dealing with stress that have worked for me. If you are really struggling, go see someone! It is 100% okay to ask for help if you need it. You should never be ashamed about this.
Stress is always going to be a part of life. What matters most is how you handle it. I hope you decide to go out there and handle stress like a boss!
Resources